So I’m not getting what I wanted for Christmas. All I really wanted for Christmas was for it to be Bieber’s baby.
Now it is no secret that I am not a fan of the Biebs. Although I’ve never come right out and said it before, it has slipped into my writing here and there. I could write an entire article based on why I don’t like the Canadian pop sensation, and I could break it down on both a cultural and analytical level, but I’m going to save all of you that rant and just cut to the chase. I don’t think his smugness can back up his lack of talent but the tastes of young girls can never be understood by grown men; Justin Bieber continues to be one of the most popular recording artists in the world…whether I like it or not.
Now when I first heard the reports of 20 year old Mariah Yeater’s claims that her three-month old son Trystin was the son of 17 year-old Bieber I had mixed feelings. First, I was hoping that Yeater would be smart enough to not take on a lawsuit without it being true. With today’s access to DNA testing it’d be the sort of thing that could be proved with just a swab of spit. I also thought that no legal team would take a case this big without it being 100% accurate. I also felt that this was an interesting development in the Bieber story that would finally take that smug look off of Bieber’s face. It just seemed like anybody who would make such a major claim that would attract the world media would have to be telling the truth.
Obviously I should never underestimate the stupidity of others.
But the truth is, deep down, I knew it wasn’t Bieber’s baby. Although I don’t believe the kid’s angelic persona, if Bieber isn’t smart enough to leave his fans alone, his team of handlers have enough control on the situation to make sure Bieber behaves himself. A lot of people have a lot of money riding on Bieber, and a thirty second sexual encounter could be the downfall of the Bieber cash flow. His people know this, and Bieber knows this, and as much as I wanted it to be Bieber’s baby, I knew that everybody involved was just too smart to allow that to happen.
Well…except for Mariah Yeater of course.
Now there isn’t much to say that hasn’t been said about the Bieber baby case already. When a pal of Yeater’s ratted her out to TMZ and Bieber’s lawyers with some text messages in which Yeater basically admitted she made the whole thing up and named the real father as some poor bastard named Robbie, Yeater quickly became the villain of the year. Another stupid move from a very stupid girl. Bieber, who flippantly used the opportunity to promote his new Christmas album (oy vey), is taking a DNA test anyway just to prove that the story is phony, nailing the final spike into Yeater’s coffin. A clever move by the Biebs and his legal team making sure that there are no final questions to haunt him. Meanwhile, the press and Bieber’s fans have been rejoicing, stating that Bieber was a victim of Yeater’s lies.
Victim. Is that the proper word? It occurs to me that there is only one true victim in this scenario. While all the attention has been shone on Yeater and Bieber, what is to become of three month old Trystin Yeater? This kid doesn’t have a chance. Too young to ever understand the situation around him, Trystin has a crazy attention seeking, money-hungry mother who is most likely going to be counter-sued by Bieber’s lawyers for her stunt, and is being put in the middle of a stressful living situation full of Children’s Aid officials, lawyers, media, paparazzi and a public that hates his mother. Although we now know that his father is some dude named Robbie, how much involvement does this Robbie have with the baby, and will he ever know his real Dad? Meanwhile, where have the grandparents been during this whole ordeal, and what kind of people are they? Just what sort of support system does this baby have? These are Trystin’s most important years, and they will be spent in the eye of the hurricane…and it is not his fault! His only crime was being born to a very damaged woman. Furthermore, one day Trystin is going to grow up, find out what his mother did, and probably have some real emotional or mental scars as a result. That, my friends, is what I call a victim. Yeater didn’t hurt Bieber but instead hurt her baby, and didn’t even get a dime in the process!
If Bieber is feeling victimized he can go and cuddle with the giant wad of money that he has. I have a feeling he’s going to be just fine, and unfortunately, he won’t be going away anytime soon.