So the other night I was watching Kirstie Alley’s “Fat Actress”. It was one of the episodes where former “Blossom” star Mayim Bialik played Kirstie’s neighbor and foil. Anyhow, during the episode there was an obscure joke made about a character called “Von Oy”. Sound familiar? Perhaps it’s been a while since you have even thought of Bialik’s “Blossom” co-star Jenna Von Oy who played Blossom’s best friend, Six LeMeure. God knows I had almost forgotten. However, it got me thinking: Exactly who was, and who is, the girl that was once under the big hat… and why do I care? Come friends. Grab your hats as:
CONFESSIONS OF A POP CULTURE ADDICT GOES
IN SEARCH OF THE GIRL BEHIND THE BIG FRIKKIN’ HAT BEHIND BLOSSOM WHO ALSO WEARS A BIG FRIKKIN’ HAT
JENNA VON HUH?
So now it’s time for me to make a confession. Why do I care about the career and whereabouts of Jenna Von Oy? Well, for a split second in the early nineties I am going to have to admit that I had a bit of a crush on the pudgy little spaz. It’s true! I first saw Jenna’s picture in an issue of TV Guide wearing a pin-striped vest and that big frikkin’ hat. I had no idea who she was because by that time I had already turned my back on sit-coms (which I still don’t watch today). I don’t know why, but something about her grabbed me and I thought she was absolutely delicious. It could have been because she had curves in all the places that a girl should have curves. It could have even been as simple as just her chest. Let’s face it: next to beanpole Blossom, Six was downright voluptuous. However, I think it was the big frikkin’ hat. I love hats. I love girls in hats. Yup, I think it was that hat. I cut pictures of her out of the TV Guide and hung them on my bedroom wall. I also started to watch “Blossom”. As sit-coms went it wasn’t all that bad. I liked the fact that the title character was artistic, creative, emotional and smart – much like me and my friends were. And then there was Six. Dear, dear silly Six. The girl was a bloody spaz! It was as if in every episode she had overdosed on pixie-stix filled with crack and talked a billion miles a minute. I kinda found Six to be annoying. Perhaps that’s why my crush on Jenna Von Oy was short and unmemorable. Jenna Von Oy never really had much influence on me – not like Susan Dey, Shannon Doherty, Nancy Sinatra or Diana Rigg did. It wasn’t long before the pictures of Jenna Von Oy were taken down, and she left my subconscious quickly.
Until the other night. I was suddenly filled with the thought, “Oh yeah, Jenna Von Oy! I wonder whatever happened to her.” So began my search for the girl in the big hat.
It didn’t take long to find Jenna’s whereabouts. I quickly found her web site – http://www.jennavonoy.com. The first thing I was greeted by was a smiling Jenna Von Oy wearing a big cowboy hat. Jeez, not exactly the big frikkin’ hat I remember. Where’s my little plump artistic spaz? All I saw was a reject from an Alan Jackson video. Uh-oh. I had a feeling that I wasn’t going to like where this was going.
Inside the web site was a bit of information on Jenna’s career as well as many pictures (we’ll get to those in a moment) but what I was surprised to find out is that Jenna has actually been working all these years. I do expect that most actresses who have dropped off the face of the earth will at least do a guest spot or two, but Jenna had been co-staring on a show called “The Parkers” which ran five seasons on UPN. It didn’t surprise me that I had never heard of this show. First, I don’t get UPN and second, I hate modern sit-coms. Reading about the show I quickly came to the conclusion that I would have hated “The Parkers” just as much as any other sit-com so it’s good that I never saw it. Jenna, once again, played the best friend of one of the title characters. She’s always the friend and never the star I guess. Oh well. As George Reeves once said, “God damn typecasting.”
Besides that, Jenna’s resume wasn’t stellar but it had other work on it: “Chicago Hope”, “Cold Case”, “7th Heaven” and some animated voice-overs on Disney’s “Pepper Anne” and “What About Andy?” It was good to see that she hadn’t just disappeared and was still able to put food on her table. Perhaps she isn’t exactly a huge star and she’s probably doomed to the “Whatever happened to…” articles for the rest of her life, but working is part of the struggle. It’s much better than the other option for former child stars, which is getting busted for robbing a corner store for cash to support your heroin addiction.
Then there were the photos: lots and lots of photos going back as far as when she was a child actress and even some unprofessional vacation photos (which I kinda thought were a nice touch – makes her human). Some of the photos were awful. Others were amazing and did her justice. Still more included candid photos featuring her and other celebrities. Just don’t expect any big celebrities. There will be no Nicole Kidman or Steven Spielberg. The majority were so third-rate that I didn’t even know who some of them were. The biggest might have been Boys II Men – which says a lot about the B-list caliber of those pictured.
However what really surprised me in my search for the girl behind the hat was how I just didn’t find Jenna Von Oy to be my type at all. Not back during her “Blossom” period and definitely not now. I wasn’t exactly sure why I thought she was so delicious when I was a teenager. I kinda scratched my head and said, “Huh?” Now I am sure we have all gone through that, where we rediscover a celebrity we thought was gorgeous when we were growing up, only to realize that they really weren’t. I am sure a whole sub-culture of Bay City Rollers fans have been asking themselves what they were thinking for decades. However as I flipped through publicity photo after publicity photo, especially the ones with the cowboy hat, which she wears because she is attempting to reinvent herself as a country singer (lordy, lordy, lordy), I kept wondering what it was. I couldn’t figure it out. It couldn’t be her small eyes because I like big-eyed girls. It couldn’t be her long legs because she doesn’t have long legs. Could it be her chest? Naw. I’m not that shallow.
Wait. The hat. It must have been the big frikkin hat.
So dear friends, thus ends my journey with Jenna Von Oy. However I want to end with a few requests.
If anyone ever comes across a copy of Jenna’s country music either in a shop or on the internet please let me know where. I’m enough of a masochist to want to inflict that upon myself.
If anyone has any idea how I could get an autographed photo of Jenna Von Oy that would rule. Anybody have any celebrity address or know when she might be coming to your town? Get all over that like a fat kid on a Smartie.
And finally a message to Jenna. Good luck with the singing career kid, and keep working. That’s obviously half the battle.
POP CULTURE ADDICT UPDATE NOVEMBER 200&
When I wrote the above article back in 2005 I did so with a bit of tongue in cheek cynicism (okay, who am I kidding. A lot of tongue in cheek cynicism). However, little would I know what sort of a special person Jenna Von Oy would become over here at Confessions of a Pop Culture Addict, as well as the impact that she would have on our web-site. I’m serious. I’m not making a joke. The truth is, Jenna Von Oy has had a part in bringing more visitors and new traffic to our web-site then any single celebrity.
Lemmee take a minute to explain.
It all started in May of 2007 when I received an e-mail from a reader named Tom Dent. Tom wrote:
“How ya doin’? Your site is excellent! Someone emailed me the link to your list for Lamest Superheroes and after laughing my head off I began exploring the rest of your site. I haven’t been through most of it but what I’ve seen is great fun and brings up lots of memories.
When I came across your Jenna Von Oy page though, I realized it was incomplete. I enjoyed the Blossom show too but my favorite at the time was Blossom herself. I like quirky girls with brains, what can I say? Six was always too dumb for me. You chronicled Jenna Von Oy’s post-Blossom days but maybe you weren’t aware of her pin-up pics.
You see the brother’s love a good ass and when she was on the Parkers, her perfect little rear got noticed ( I almost never saw the show-it was mighty stupid-but when I did, the highlight was watching Jenna’s tush in jeans). Evidently others noticed too and she popped up a few times in King Magazine (King is basically Maxim catered towards Black men). So to round out the Von Oy page, I’d attach some of her best pix, all prominently featuring her posterior! Her career may never amount to anything big, but the homeys will enjoy watching her walking into the sunset!
Tom also sent us some of Jenna’s pin up photos that highlighted her butt and we featured Tom’s letter, as well as the photos, in our bi-weekly Announcement column. Well, friends, from that moment on, every single day I began to notice a strange occurrence in my daily analytic reviews. We began to notice the phrases “Jenna Von Oy,” “Jenna Von Oy King Magazine,” “Jenna Von Oy’s Butt,” not to mention some more nastier variations of this search, in our daily analytics reports. This trend has continued to this very day. Each and every day somebody around this world comes to Confessions of a Pop Culture Addict in search for pictures and commentary on Jenna Von Oy’s butt. Every single day! So it sort of answers my question….just what is it about Jenna Von Oy? Well it’s obviously her butt. Men just love Jenna’s butt. Believe me. Jenna and her butt have a HUGE cult following.
But that’s not all! We have also received tons of additional letters from Jenna fans that don’t even mention her butt! Some letters have praised Jenna’s music. I still have not ever heard it because I am generally not a country music fan, nor have I ever actually seen any of her CDs for sale. However, if I ever did see it I would buy it, or if a reader would be kind enough to send us a copy we would love to listen to it and review it.
We have also been asked on numerous occasions to do an interview with Jenna. We have made attempts to contact Jenna and her people but have never gotten anything back. But who knows what will happen in the future. If you want us to interview Jenna drop her a line and tell her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
However, despite my cynicism and tongue in cheek banter in 2005, I want to point out to everyone that Jenna Von Oy is still working, unlike most former teen actors that appeared in sit-coms. Jenna has just shot a new pilot, and her first CD, Breathing Room, was released in September of this year. Also, Jenna scrapped the terrible web-site I made fun of in 2005 and has a beautiful, brand new web-site where you can an catch up with everything she’s doing at www.jennavonoy.com. Jenna Von Oy is certainty more then just another pretty…well…butt.
So I want to send a message to Jenna Von Oy, as well as her butt. Thank you Jenna for being a special oddity in my writing career and life at Confessions of a Pop Culture Addict. We all love you over here. Hope you don’t mind our good natured kidding, but we really and honestly do wish you all the luck in your future endeavors.
BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT
Jenna Von Oy’s butt has gained a cult following all her own, and still, in 2010, brings thousands of visitors to our web-site. So, for better or for worse, PCA is your first stop for all your Jenna Von Oy “butt” needs. If anybody has any Jenna Von Oy news, information or photos please send them to us. Meanwhile, enjoy our gallery of Jenna Von Oy and her butt. You demanded it, you got it.